For the Hard of Hearing

Hey Big Guy,

HI!!!! I REALIZE YOU WERE RAISED ON A FARM, AND PROBABLY HAD TO SCREAM OVER YOUR 10 SIBLINGS, MULTIPLE ANIMALS AND A ROARING TRACTOR, BUT HERE IN THE CIVILIZED OFFICE WORLD, IT IS NOT REQUIRED TO SCREAM-TALK EVERY GODDAMN THING YOU HAVE TO SAY!!! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU’RE SIX INCHES AWAY FROM MY SEAT, INVADING MY SPACE, AND SPITTING WHILE YOU’RE DOING IT!!! TRY TO TONE IT DOWN!!! WE CAN HEAR YOU IN OTHER DEPARTMENTS!!!

You know, because it’s much nicer when you speak in normal tones, like this. Also, it makes your constant whining about your wife a little more bearable. (You probably shouldn’t share that with everyone you meet. She might not like that.)

Love,
Me

PS– ::throat clear:: STOP STARING AT MY TITS!!! PERV!!! Thanks.

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